Campusnova By ORDIA Akelo

If there is anyone who the marriage bill is tailored to fit it is the campus Casanova. Yes it is now official ladies, your beau is not yours and yours alone. The bill clearly states that any other union except for Hindu, Christian or civil marriages is potentially polygamous. As we all know your relationship has a 99pc chance of not falling in either category.

 

So even as the campus rangers go ahead to celebrate their newfound freedom, there is one breed of campusnovas who see nothing new in the current state of affairs and he can’t seem to understand what the fuss is all about. For him he has always had a string of ‘wives’ who all know of each other’s existence. Even so they have not gone hammer and tongs at each other, instead they live harmoniously despite the fact that the all so familiar female jealousy reigns between them.

 

The campusnova has his act all together and all his wives are fashioned to meet his needs. With his sweethearts strewn all over campus from the K to J to stage and even mabs, there is nothing this young man lacks. After a weekend spree he does not fret for a place to sleep, during the weekdays he can always camp at the house nearest to his classes and the ever dreaded task of laundry is never a problem for him.

 

The ladies on the other hand maintain their poise as he does very little to hide anything from them. It is only normal that ladies swear to never engage with a man with other engagements but for them there is little that they can do after all, washapenda. So whenever they all meet for lunch in the weekend they maintain forced smiles and stifled laughter as they try to maintain the tet-a-tet. He on the other hand beams with pride to see how sweet it is to see all his girls getting along.

So what is it that keeps the ladies drawn and glued to the campusnova to the extent that they would never leave him for anything (until graduation of course)?

 

He has an air of confidence that hangs around him and to him, no lady can escape his smooth talk, he is funny and can maintain a conversation with almost anyone, from the blonde to the smart ass chic. He is generous and during the initial stages of wooing a lady, he does not hesitate to loosen his purse strings. His honesty also plays to his favour at the end of the day. It is also quite clear that he strategises well to see that he maintains his string of sweethearts to the end of his academic term in campus.

 

It is therefore very clear, the campusnova has set the pace for you my dear brothers, if you are out there and you have the spirit of polygamy drawn from your forefathers in you, then go yea forth and find yourselves wives. Note however, that the campusnova’s relationships are symbiotic and not parasitic, otherwise you will fail terribly in your pursuit of keeping up with the law.

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