By WAFULA P’ Khisa
I pray that this finds you healthy and sound. First, welcome to campus generally and to the University with a difference particularly. Second, congratulations for making it to this hallowed place. Karibu, umefika! Third, I know you have been oriented thoroughly. Here and there, especially there. On this and that, especially that. Well. You are now ripe and fit to partake of the holy communion offered haphazardly herein. Stay tuned. Concentrate. Focus.
However, I am convinced that during orientation, you were told everything except nothing. Nothing is ever told. Everywhere. See? It is the only stone that remains unturned. Fancy that! I have been here for a while, capturing space. And there are little nothings, though pertinent, that you need to familiarize yourself with.
One is that you are in campus. You are the driver of your life and sailor of your ship. Fellows herein are grown ups. So if you haven’t grown, please do so. Just do it. Think and act like a grown up. Be led astray not.
Moreover, now you have been initiated into comradeship. You are comrades. Thus, whenever you hear us chant “comrades’ power!” do not imprison yourself under your blankets. Do not urinate on yourself. Do not think we are mad. No. Heed to it. A comrade is always right. Thus henceforth, you are right. Whoever thinks that you are wrong is wrong himself. See?
Soon you will sit for your CATs and examinations. Whatever answers you will provide, however vague, they will be right– for a comrade is always right. From alpha to omega. See? Well. However, during such times, there is a good friend of comrades a friend indeed; mwaks. You will know him and endear yourselves to him when exams come. He helps us to confirm if indeed whatever we are writing is right. Never die when such a friend is there to help!
Also, the society is multifaceted. It therefore expects an all-round graduate by the time you graduate. Being all round means that you have to taste every flavour of life herein. Read books and write exams. Go to church and worship. Go to F2, Chambers etc and irrigate your throats. Go to the field and play. Indulge in politics. Think. Idle around. Venture into business. Take part in demonstrations, seduce and love. But don’t dare, help not steal. Please don’t!
Did some bug tell you there is no love here? In campus, love is abundant. Many people find spouses here. Some is sold; some is given for free. Just choose what befits you. But know when, how and why to love.
This place is unusually cold. Sometimes we feel our bones crack and flesh numbed. We resort to befriending coils, when our lovers are away. To survive, please don’t sleep or walk alone. Throughout your sojourn herein, you will see and experience many things. Some disgusting whist others amazing. When you come of age, you will learn of things like missing marks, further notice, everlasting holiday (a must to be elder) and other lots of wonders. You will wonder why our compatriots in UoN, KU, UOE, MMUST etc don’t experience them. Well. The reason is we are different. Ours is a university with a difference. Let’s talk more as time wills by. Be wary of your ways. Sleep not for darkness made a cockroach pass by a chicken’s beak.
Yours at Heart,
Wafula P’ Khisa
(Thigh of an Elephant)