Comedies of Admission Day

By WINNIE Onyango

Am amused but this cannot be a comedy, freshaz admission day…….

“Hahaa….This is just making me pee under pants….hahaaa” Miss Caroh was laughing hysterically when she spotted a first year’s parent heavily loaded like a wheelbarrow carrying a metallic box size of a lorry heading to School of Business to admit his beloved daughter. “Ebu cheki Winnie, hahaaa, huyu buda hajui hapa ni suitcases sio boxes za High School” Can you imagine how this parent was perspiring profusely and panting? After a few minutes, another parent came and inquired, ”na hizi sufuria tunaweka wapi mtoto bado hajapewa nyumba?” he was rolling his eyes up and down waiting to be served and seemingly not contented by the delays in the system. But why were the sufurias so dark? I wondrered. ”kuni inatoka wapi vane”. He went on to ask. This made me identify him as one from Ingo. The the whole crowd that was queuing laughed.

It so happened that it was getting late in the evening and most students had not been admitted. The few who were lucky had secured rooms. “Sasa mimi shule itanisaidia aje nisipopata hau,” a lady who looked miserable and confused by the whole ordeal asked “Hauna mtu wamjua amepata rum already ulale kwake?” I asked. “Hapana, kuna homie wangu amepata lakini keeper wa dormitory akipata tumelala wawili si ntafukuzwa campo?” The lady stated seriously almost crying, it was hectic comforting first years I tell you.

Now this sounds funny. A continuing student who had a ‘christian’ first year as her roomie had her Muslim cousin admitted, so unfortunate, her cousin got a room booked by continuing Christian. Was it possible? The two Muslim sisters had to stay together hence made a decision to swap. “If it pleases you, would you mind moving to stay with the other christian, and let me stay with my Muslim sister” this turned into a tough war which even king David could not have won. ”What! nonsense…my father, mother, sibling, grandparents and extended family know that I have been admitted to Moi University as a 1st year, and they also know I had been allocated this Hostel and room, so stop entertaining me with your swap thing…nkt!” This too amused me because I am sure it won’t take long before the same fresha will start sleeping in hostels H, M, A, B etc without notifying same parents.

One rule for admission being completion of school fees was received as a shock by many parents who could not afford the same amounts. “We won’t admit your son till the completion of fee,” said School of Arts Accountant. “Eeii, madam hapana hiyo wezekana, mimi ameuza ngombe yote kuleta mtoto school,” claimed a parent. “Enda uza ngombe imebaki ulete school fee, kwani uliuza wangapi ukapata 12k?” “Nimi ameusa ngombe yote, ama unataka nikuusie mwili mtoto asome?” This parent was talking while throwing his arms and moving up and down. He carried a very dirty sack in his arm containing his son’s documents. From afar you could see the level of poverty in him. “Umetoka wapi mzee?” Asked the accountant. “Homa-baaay” the child got admitted though. I hope you won’t forget where you have come from.

To be continued…


The Writer is a 3rd year student in the School of Arts and Social Sciences


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