When I finally pack my luxuries and depart this institution with the most ambiguous, equivocal and abstruse differences especially in the academic sector where academic calendars are even altered overnight, I will narrate to my kids about so much drama that goes on around the campus locale.
I will tell them that hostel M has been converted from a hostel under construction to a vision 2030 project. I will remind Wepukhulu, my son, that his mum was the only Kamba lady with beautiful luhya legs like those of Serena Williams.
I will remind them that Kesses dam is still the biggest swimming pool in East and central Africa according to Moi University students. A dam in which you can go to refresh your skills of swimming in the name of Association’s
I will remind Tsimonjero my last born, that hostel H has acquired a maternity Ward on the 3rd floor. It might soon be promoted to a Level 1 hospital. The only hostel with a mystery yet to be documented in the Guinnes Book of Records.
I will describe to Kukhu Ikhune, my first born, how Moi University’s long holiday has been renamed; ‘Further Notice” being its new title. I will tell them that majority of campus students are products of non-family planning society, that’s why the population has tripled and yet the accommodation situation remains stagnant-nothing new to smile about.
I will remind Shirandula how I entered campus when the MUSO Constitution was under review and left when it was still under the same review. Commissions were formed time and again. Reviewers came and went. The constitution still remained the same. I thought reviewing was a short term process but it seems to have acquired a new meaning.
I will inform Makhalang’ang’a that MUSO leaders will always put a phone on the earlobe pretending to make a call in order to avoid talking to the comrades; little do they know that the trick is discovered long ago. Therefore, she should not expect any difference if she ever makes it to this precious institution with a difference.
I will remind Wanyonyi that exile is still compulsory though his mum never allowed me to send my roommate to exile. I will remind them that, all my classmates in primary school got married as second wives when I was in form three while all my classmates in fourth year in campus were pregnant on graduation day.
I will puzzle Nafula that hostel J is a ladies’ hostel but more men are recorded on the shower line in the morning including my course mate; He actually adores hostel J.
I will finally warn Masanduku and Nafula that in campus, the number of men is twice that of ladies. Despite this, every man has a girlfriend; some arithmetic that I am yet to find an answer to even after my whole four years.
The Writer is LMC Fourth Year – SASS, Moi University Main Campus