TYPES OF LUOS

by Victor Odongo
Mjaluo: is a full cast of a luo man and a luo woman. Letter ‘O’ is prevalent in the family name. They are associated with Kisumu in terms of birth, speech, delicacy or residence. Has a problem with ‘h’ that comes after ‘s’. May not be wealthy or literate, but is rich and educated…

Jaluo: is not necessarily a Mjaluo, but may be mistaken to be one. Is an ardent Gor Mahia follower and a Raila diehard. Has Christmas and new year celebration every Friday. Has installed a powerful music system in their Prado or other, with “Ohangla” or “Rhumba” subtitles. Has a printed Gor Mahia t-shirt. Is the idea behind ‘Jaluo in the house’…

Luopean: may not necessarily be Mjaluo or Jaluo, but has a vocabulary or two that can confuse an individual or two. Doesn’t ask for the price of any good or service before, but rather after purchasing. May even suggest a price. Is the idea behind ‘aluf tang’o’. Is not proud, but is generous with necessary ego. He is inter and intercontinentally available online. Is an E and I person, with taste in smart things. Has Christmas and new year everyday because to a luopean, life is EXTREMELY short!

At Kisumu union primary school…

SMS from 12year old Omondi to 10year old Nekesa…

Nekesa yoo, ulibeba simu ya mamau leo? Kama ulibeba bas soma ii meseg. Kama ujasoma, ambia resipient areturn if undelivad iwinjo? Eniway, Maalim amesatoka kwa clas yenyu? Pare sisi tumesaenda brek. Nekesa wacha kuplay ad to get, hayaa. Najua sisi bado ni ndogo lakini ata angalia ong’er, pole monkey, sais yake kidogo, lakini teil heeh looong! Okey najua sida yako, lakini Nekesa yawa nimewai nyima wee lunch ukweli wa mungu? A a Nekesa tuseme tu ukweli wa mungu nimesawai? Si bado? In fact breakfast yangu, lunch yangu na chai ya saa kum si sisi ufanya grup wak kwao? Na si mimi hupaticipet kwa iyo grupwak kidogo tu? Anyway mimi sikuwa na maneno sana, ni tu uyo mwalim wenyu amekaa na nyinyi sana yawa. 

Kwani ye ndio anafundisa nini na ata bado nawasindanga wote, pole, except wewe. Najua tu ye ni Mrs. Praxidis wa maths. 
Nimemalisa kuandika SMes, kujaaa sawa? Reply ii meseg. Oh wacha nikusambasie alafu uniflas mukisatoka iwinjo?

Jaluo comes home from work and sits on his leather sofa, stretching his leather shoes on the leather leg rest in front of the TV.

Jaluo: by the way darling, remote control iko wapi?Auma/Apondi: born and comes out assuming a face down position. She likes covering up things, situations, stories etc. She is very caring, and will keep hold of secret no matter what! Basically, she is secretive and loving. The pregnant woman ‘danced’ recently, before the baby started kicking, and as such, the baby is only looking down ashamed of what
happened when she was still in the womb not so long ago.

Awino: born when the cereals ripen in the farms and the African Quelea (Aluru) bird migrate to feed on the crops. Bird hunters lay traps using the cow tail strands(wino) to catch the birds hence the name. She is a trickster, witty and intelligent, always taking advantage. She is kind of selfish.

Aoko: she is born outside and far from the vicinity of the father’s home. She is always up and about, cant stay in one place for long. Very outgoing and travel-philic. Most are found in the outside the country and not studying of working, just for the fun of it.

Apiyo: the fast one. Always the first to clear obligations. Quick to cook, quick to love, quick to hate, temperamental etc. If u want to live life on the fast lane, this is your girl. The pregnant mother lost her temper a number of times the day labour began.

Aketch: born in the season of famine or when the mother lacked appetite or the mother was hungry. She eats and eats and eats. She knows all the hotels in town. Fortunately, she is very generous!

Akado: the opposite of aketch.

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