It Wasn’t Me ~ By OTIENO Gerald

Remember the song It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy? The video and the lyrics in the song depict a man who is caught several times cheating on his girlfriend with another woman. In every scene he is caught pants down and he replies it wasn’t me .Such kinds of persons have lived to earn the phrase ‘once a cheat always a cheat’.

When most people are caught cheating on their partners, they make hollow promises before they are back at it again. The other side of this fact is that the vexed partner still remains in the relationship hoping the other will change for the better despite the relationship hitting a snarl up.

Some people however cling to such relationships because of diverse reasons. Some are afraid of being lonely, others are afraid of what their friends will say about them, others due to financial reasons, while others look    at their    emotionally   investment into   the   relationship.

There are those who are very dependent of their partners to an extent they cannot do without them. Another group which has found the relationship a ‘comfort zone’ is willing to accept   infidelity at all odds.  Isn’t love a relationship to bring joy and fulfilment to the people involved? Is cheating a voluntary action or engineered in our human genes?

Cheating is behavioural and one does make a voluntary decision to engage in it since it is a mental journey. It happens when certain needs are not met and the act will continue until the partners resolve the problem, usually with no emotional attachments. In most cases when people get into relationships they tend to relax. Relaxation leads to lack of spark which is excitement in the relationship.

To women, remember men are visual and would like to see their partner looking posh on makeup, dress sharply and watch your weight. Men are known to get bored very fast. They are adventurous and are always on the move looking for new things to try out. Women should view this as an asset, every time you observe a slight change in him, change with it. Always try out new things to spice up your relationship. Most men always claim to be unfaithful to have fun and excitement.

For women they love words and are sentimental. Do not cease telling your woman that   you love her, she is smartly dressed, that you like her hairdo, she cooks great and her body excites you. They seem petty but if not done    she will    find   another   man who appreciates    her  and ‘cheating’ will   start smelling in your empire.

Let us face the facts that keeping a relationship is hard but if you really love your partner it is important to put an effort to find out what   he or she wants and how to keep him interested. However if a relationship is simply not working then it gets to point that you should go separate ways.

This will save you a lot of misery, pain and heartache. Relationships are full of sacrifices that involve choosing to let your love grow. Deliberately go out of your way to let your love not die. Cheats can stop their ill mannered habits and enjoy ‘truthful’ relationships with their partners.

The writer is a 3rd year LMC student

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