The H-Factor of Ghetto Life ~ By NYAMAI Nick

WALKING towards Hostel H from the Students’ Centre, commonly known as Studie, you can only see a three storey ‘modish’ building with some boosters overhead. In close proximity well written graffiti – HOSTEL H welcomes you to what many describe as the Cradle of Comrades, but unknown to many, behind these walls lie crafty facts that its habitants know well to themselves like the back of their hands. As I scale towards the upper floor a ‘sweet’ aroma greets me; the delicacies from lakeside alias Kisumu Boys – a common defining factor of the dwellers. If you think this is a joke, there is a corridor dubbed Omena Street and although it is seven o’clock in the morning, residents from this side of campus describe meals not from time it should be served on table but the desire of their bowels to get filled.
Here is a list of H comrade’s unique attributes;
Creativity – It’s the only hostel in the campus where comrades will operate any kind of business and meet desires of their customers such as Fundi wa Coil, Omena Fresh, and also Repairing of Broken Hearts. If you think it’s a lie, our walls don’t, in this ‘paradise’ they have mastered the art of creativity and even can tell the duration of time every blackout will take since they are accustomed to. 
Hard living – Meet any H dweller; he is hard to beat. They win at everything they try. Just maybe they hardly exist in Mashoka’s diary. Commonly known as the radar contrivance that delineates cultured living in campus, it’s a hostel with a whole lot of emerging trends; here comrades’ sleep for three hours a day. It comprises of the most peculiar comrades- not by coincidence. Living in hostel H provides you with a whole package and certain defense mechanisms to suit your survival in campus.  
Co- curricular activities – In H there is competition in nearly everything, yelling and howling for regular reasons- dark curse that lives in H. We have degrees in the art of perfection with elective courses in spinning the ‘Virtual DJ’. Soon we should have competitions in pool. Here, they play and never miss the white ball even after the sinister devil decides to make us sleep early than usual. If you need to keep all your HELB safely, register in this club. It is not feminine friendly since you spend much time indoors and you minimize to swallow the Mututho concoction.
Finally, if you know anything about the X-factor, then there are lots about the H-factor that you should familiarize yourselves with. It determines the political outcome of our MUSO leaders. And very important, in H three is no need to knock at your visitor’s door, only foreigners do so. Next time when you come visiting just pop in.

  The writer is a 3rd year LMC major.


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