Three weeks after the recently concluded Kenyans for Kenya initiative -an inventiveness cobbled up by the corporate world and the media to help Kenyans who are affected by the famine, an idle thought peered into my mind, i may just need our my initiative. In campus life a lot of us may need that extra hand in our day to day hustle.
The campus initiative is bound to make me live a comfortable life in campus. I want to enjoy myself to the fullest. I am not in a crisis as bad as our brothers in Turkana witnessed but anyway I need this initiative.
During the exam period for some reason I will find that the papers are not friendly to me because I was absent when my group members were in the library discussing the past papers-(I found that the latest season of The Vampire Diaries series to be more interesting) and I did not attend all classes because I was told by someone that it is abnormal to attend every lecture in a whole semester.
On the exam day when the lecturer has finished distributing the booklets and question papers alike, this initiative gains relevance, I will expect the exam initiative to ‘donate’ to me the possible answers to every question especially the compulsory question.
I will expect my immediate neighbours and other willing classmates who are one seat apart from me to lend me their mwaks or whisper to me ‘points’ that i will use to write my answers, I will urge them to write in good handwriting so that I can see what they have written in their booklets. This will continue for the entire exam period and when it is over, I will hail the success of the exam initiative as I nervously wait for the results.
The next initiative will need the counsel of my ‘wise’ friends. There is this fine first year that I saw in the library and I swore that she had to be mine. I have observed that in the last two weeks, she doesn’t have male company for the times that we have met.
I know that it is just a matter of time before campus vultures begin circling and around her. My problem is that I am suffering from vibe malnutrition. This is the only impediment to having her. I will expect the vibe initiative to kick off, to save a lovelorn campus guy. My friends will seat me in a room and ‘contribute’ vibe. I will nod to everything they say hoping that the silly little things that my ‘boys’ tell me will work in capturing the chic’s attention and also in maintaining her so that she does not slip through my fingers.
The final initiative is promoted by the fact that I do not have a room. When I came from home I expected to find a place to stay but I was unlucky. After fake promises, long queues and numerous phone calls I am yet to find a room, I have thought of pirating. Who will be willing to burden my presence for several months? That is where ‘well wishers’ step in, I need someone to accommodate me, this is where help a pirate initiative comes up.
This means my huge suitcase will suffocate space in your room, dining and wining in your room when I have not broken a sweat and indeed my money in shopping for food in the room, feeling half the comfort you would have felt if you slept alone in your bed. This will be done against the will of your roommate, who also loathes my friends.
I guess that is the price you have to pay for helping a brother out.
The writers are 3rd year LMC students.