The Irony of Higher Education – by KIMANI Alvin

DO you know of an adage that Kenyans move at a speed called ‘snail.com?’ This refers to a slow and almost non-progressive agreement between set goals and their implementation. Before joining campus I had three goals; one, to change my course from the famous ‘bachelor of anything’ to ‘bachelor of something’ that would draw attention from all and easily get me a good deal of groupies (lady friends). Secondly, have fun which entails getting messed up every weekend, getting a crazy hangover and to top it all up throw up once or twice. Then I could have something to talk about throughout the week while looking forward to the next weekend and finally graduate with the infamous second degree alias a wife at the end of the four-year course.
On my first goal, it is three weeks past, since I applied to have my course changed, until now I have been inquiring every single day but all am told is to be patient while pursuing my current course meanwhile (awaiting their decision). This beats the point of encouraging us to change our courses immediately. I am made to understand that in other institutions it is a one week affair evidenced by the fact that my counterparts in those varsities are already sitting their end semester exams while we at the famous ‘Foundation of Knowledge’, have been whirling aimlessly for the past three weeks.
This brings me to another point of concern – the slow pace of things on campus, from registration to timetables and course outlines being delayed. It is very disturbing when a lecturer tells you that he/she has no idea when the timetable would be released or how many times it would be amended. This leaves us speculating and showing up at lecture halls only to end up disappointed when the conveyor of knowledge fails to show up.
As far as my second objective is concerned, I have been bitterly disappointed with the Mashoka and the Mututho laws since the administration was kind enough to house me in the Diaspora, just next to the sewage treatment area. I would not risk getting my average looks lessened by Mashoka since at the moment I have enough self esteem issues to deal with.
And lastly, about getting out of this place with that ‘second degree’, would you be kind enough to allow me get back to you on that at the end of the year 2015? I am still receiving and rejecting applications…

The writer is a 1st year School of Arts and Social Sciences- Bachelor of Arts in Political Science

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